Happier Times Lie Ahead
by Dr Carby
Summary: PG-13 for Languge that may appear later. Carter and Abby work together to find their lost relationship, and fix it. AU
1. How Long?

Disclaimer: Hey, guess what? Much to my own surprise, they aren't mine!  
  
Author's Notes: Yes, yes, I'm back. This story just kinda came to me. I dunno what I'm gonna do with it though. It's AU and we're gonna say that Carter was never an asshole, so he didn't ever go to Africa. Oh, and Doc Magoo's never burnt down because who wants to go to a place called Ike's when you can have Doc Magoo's? And I'm thinking that if there are gonna be any spoilers, it'll be anything up until season nine. We may even include season nine. I dunno. I can't really gauge these things. No ten though, I promise. Enjoy and please review!  
  
********** Happier Times Lie Ahead- Ch.1- How Long? **********  
  
How long can someone go on thinking about a single person? How long until you just curl up and die because that's all you feel like doing? When does 'you'll get over her' actually start?  
  
I ask myself these things a lot lately. I keep wondering if it is, in fact, possible to die of heartbreak. But then I conclude that if it were possible, I would have been dead for a long time now.  
  
Because it seems that no matter what I do, I can't stop thinking about her. I've tried everything. I've pulled shift, after shift, after shift, just trying to keep my mind busy. I've tried sleeping constantly, but she just haunts my dreams. I've even tried dating other women, but I never feel an attraction towards them. Or at least nothing even slightly comparable to Abby.  
  
And the worst part about it is, I still see her everyday.  
  
About four months after we broke up, I had finally gotten the courage to look for a job outside of Chicago. I found one, had everything packed up, and was ready to go. But at the last minute, after I had said goodbye to everyone, including her, I picked up on the fact that I may never see her again. And I believed that I would much rather live with stolen glances than no glances at all.  
  
Now I'm beginning to regret not going. Don't get me wrong. I love Abby with all my heart. But that's what the problem is. Seeing her day after day and knowing I'm not with her to comfort her or make her pain go away, or love her is what's killing me inside.  
  
And now it's been a whole year since I ended it with her. Now that I actually take the time to look back on it, I don't really see the reason I gave up on 'us.'  
  
We had had a fight. We were always fighting. But this time, I didn't hold back my temper. I just let it loose. She wouldn't talk to me. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't tell me. She told me that she didn't like to talk about things and that I should know and respect that. I told her that she can't always hold everything in, and if she did, she'd eventually explode. I told her I was sick of it. I was tired of her not talking to me, pushing me away and reeling me back in, just to push me away again. She said she was sorry. I told her that if she were really sorry, she wouldn't do it any more. Then I proceeded to tell her that we should take a break.  
  
That break was only supposed to last a few days, maybe a week. But then that week turned into two, and two into four, and before I knew it, it had been about three months.  
  
She's been on my mind for a really long time now. Unfortunately, though, I don't have anyone to go to. I can't talk to anybody about it. That's because I used to tell her everything.  
  
She smiles a lot more now. And she seems happy now, more so than when we were together. She seems to have her life under control. Maybe I'm the one who brought her down. Maybe I was hurting her when I was only trying to help.  
  
I steal another glance at her. She's at admit, laughing about something with Susan and Chuni. I love her smile. I love everything about her. I love her.  
  
"Hey, doc? You gonna finish this?" I look back to Maurice, my patient. He's pointing at his hand lac that is taking me about an hour or so to suture.  
  
"Uh, yeah. Sorry."  
  
A few minutes and three sutures later, my shift is over and I'm heading to the lounge to put my stethoscope and lab coat in my locker. I hear the door swing open behind me but I don't bother to see who's entered.  
  
**********  
  
Reviews are magical things. 


	2. A Little Help From My Friend

Disclaimer: Still not mine.  
  
A/N: In response to IDontWriteIJustRead, Abby is still a nurse. But all of that *actual* ER stuff wont be relied on that much in this story. Like actually carrying out a trauma, sorry, but I don't think so . . .lol.  
  
********** Happier Times Lie Ahead- Ch.2- A Little Help From My Friend **********  
  
I look up from Susan and Chuni to see Carter's eyes on me. He quickly looks away. Is it a little self-absorbed to think he was looking at me? Maybe he was just looking over here to see what we were laughing about. I guess I'm kind of hoping he was looking at me. I know I steal little glances at him all the time. He probably wasn't though. I mean, he's the one who broke it off with me, right? So, why would he be doing that?  
  
"Abby?"  
  
I'm brought out of my thoughts when I hear Susan talking to me.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Are you okay?" She has a very concerned look on her face and her tone suddenly becomes serious.  
  
"Um, yeah, Susan. I'm fine." She nods and turns back to Chuni. I look back to Curtain 2 and notice that Carter's not there anymore. I quickly follow the path with my eyes from there to the lounge just in time to see the door swinging shut.  
  
I quickly leave Susan and Chuni to their gossip and follow Carter into the lounge. I honestly don't have any idea what I'm going to say to him. We haven't had a decent or meaningful conversation in almost a year. Has it really been that long?  
  
I open the door to find him facing his open locker, his back to me. He doesn't turn around, though. He takes his stethoscope from around his neck and places it on the shelf in his locker.  
  
Where did this sudden urge to talk to him come from? And why didn't it come a year ago when I needed it?  
  
He finally closes his locker and turns around. I look up at him and meet his eyes. Okay, mouth, now would be a good time for you to form some words for me here.  
  
"Hey." He says. Well, that takes care of me starting this.  
  
"Hey, Carter."  
  
"I'm going to head over to Doc's for some coffee. You want to come with me?" His voice seems almost hopeful. "We can split some pie or a sundae?"  
  
I nod my head. "Yeah, sure. Give me five minutes to clock out okay?"  
  
"Yeah. Okay. I'll see you over there." He gives me another hopeful glance and leaves.  
  
Well that was odd.  
  
As soon as he's gone, I rush back out to admit and grab Susan.  
  
"Hey. What are you doing?" She asks as she stumbles into the lounge with me.  
  
"Susan, Carter just asked me to meet him at Doc Magoo's in like, five minutes. What do I do?" My mind is racing.  
  
"Hold on," she tells me. "What's going on, here? Ten minutes ago, you guys would barely say 'hi' to each other. Now you're meeting at Doc's?"  
  
I shrug my shoulders. I don't know what's going on either, so how the hell am I supposed to explain it to her? "Um, yeah."  
  
"Well, I think you should go." She states, matter-of-factly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I think you should go and listen to what he has to say. It can't be any worse than the last time you guys had a real conversation." She looks at me. Just her facial expression tells me I should go.  
  
"Are you sure? What if he tells me he's moving again? You know what happened last time he did that. It tore me into pieces, Susan. I cried my heart out. You were there. How do I know that he's not doing that again?"  
  
"Abby, he didn't leave last time because, just between you and me, he was afraid he'd never see you again. And he didn't want you to know that because you guys broke up. He thought you wouldn't want to see him again, but he couldn't stand the thought of him not seeing you. So he didn't go."  
  
"Really?" I look at her.  
  
She nods her head towards the door. "Abby, just go listen to him. It'll be okay. I promise."  
  
I reach over to give Susan a hug, thank her, and then head to Doc Magoo's. Hopefully, she's right.  
  
**********  
  
A/N: Alright, I'm sorry these chapters are so short. I'll try to fix that. (Key word- *try*) Tell me what you think so far. Review, email, or instant message me. Thanks for reading. Ch. 3 coming shortly. I promise.  
  
Email: no1scutpuppy@yahoo.com  
  
AIM: DrCarby06 


	3. Doc Magoo's

Disclaimer: Again? Not mine.  
  
Author's Notes: I'm sorry about this whole mix-up thing again. I'm just dumb and don't know how to work a freaking compy. That's okay though. I had to post the story again because when I uploaded the second chapter, it put it as the first and it kept doing it again and again, so I just decided to start over. Sorry that your reviews were lost. Here's Ch. 3. I hope you guys enjoy it.  
  
********** Happier Times Lie Ahead- Ch.3- Doc Magoo's **********  
  
Okay, so it's been ten minutes since she said we'd meet over here in five. Five minutes late. That's nothing right? I mean, it's Abby we're talking about here. Ten minutes late, to her, means right on time. So why am I so nervous? I asked her over here didn't I? This isn't good. I'm biting my nails and shaking a little. What if she comes in here seeing me like this? She'll probably think I'm on drugs again or something.  
  
I pick up a menu and scan over it just to keep my mind occupied.  
  
After a few minutes, I hear the door open and the little bell ring. I look up to see her standing at the door, almost as if she's debating on whether or not to actually come in and sit down with me. Not that I blame her. But, I give her a hopeful smile which, I guess, makes her decide to stay. She makes her way over and sits down in the booth across from me. The waitress appears and we order coffee and a piece of pie to share.  
  
The first few minutes, we sit in an unbearable silence. The tension is so thick, you could cut it with a knife. There is so much that needs to be said here, but I'm not sure if either one of us are willing to take the first step. I know I'm not. My hands aren't shaking as bad as before, which is a good sign. I look out the window to an ambulance pulling into the bay.  
  
"Hey."  
  
I look back to Abby. I'm speechless. I honestly don't know what to say to her. Which is strange, because I used to be able to talk to her about everything. But, I don't think much of anything can fix this.  
  
"Carter, what happened to us?" She's looking to me for answers, but I don't have them. As much as I want to, I don't have the answers.  
  
"I don't know, Abby. I really don't."  
  
She picks up her napkin and starts playing with it. "Well, Carter, what do you think we should do?" Her voice is almost at a whisper, but she continues. "I mean, we have to work something out. We have to find a way to talk and get along without it being awkward, especially at work."  
  
"I know, Abby." It's the truth. I know exactly what she means; I just have no clue how we're going to make it work. Things were left on such a bad note and I don't know if she's willing to forgive me.  
  
Before she has a chance to say anything, our waitress comes back with our coffee and pie. We sit in silence again, just eating and sipping on the hot coffee.  
  
A few more minutes pass after we're done, and she speaks up. "I think we should talk more." I look at her and nod. She's right.  
  
"You want to talk now?" I ask. It's really more of a statement than a question. But, her expression tells me 'yes.' "What do you want to talk about?" I know the answer to that, though.  
  
"I think you should start off by telling me why you wanted that break." I bite my bottom lip. What do I tell her? 'Oh yeah, Abby, I was pissed at you because you wouldn't talk to me. You blew me off and we couldn't have a normal conversation without screaming at each other by the end?' That'll go over well.  
  
She's still looking at me expectantly. Anticipating my answer and waiting for me to tell her why I broke her heart.  
  
"You want the truth?"  
  
She nods. "Yeah, Carter, that would be a good place to start."  
  
"Alright." I look away from her. It's so hard to tell her this to her face. Having her looking at me while I do this is just breaking my heart all over again. "I just wanted that break so I could have some time to think about what was happening between us." She looks confused. So I keep on. "We weren't talking anymore. The basis of every relationship, and more importantly the basis of our relationship, is communication, and talking things out. And it just wasn't there."  
  
"So we just quit because of miscommunication?" Her face is sad. Her beautiful brown eyes show nothing but sorrow and it's killing me inside. I hate making her feel like this. Like everything was a lost cause. It wasn't a lost cause. Being with her made me the happiest I had ever been in my whole life. But then in the end, it just came crashing down on us; making both of us miserable.  
  
"No, Abby, it wasn't just miscommunication, it was no communication. We weren't talking at all. And if we were, it was all screaming and yelling. We would come home, eat, take a shower, and go to bed. It was just so weird, having the feeling that I couldn't even talk to my best friend."  
  
"Carter, you could always talk to me."  
  
"No. No I couldn't. And you know it. We were just so closed off from one another. And I couldn't figure out why." She looks at me and we lock gazes. "Can you tell me why, Abby?"  
  
********** That's it for Ch.3. A part two sounds good, huh? Well, it will be up soon.  
  
And people, I really need some reviews. I need to know what you guys think. Does it suck? Is it good? I'm freaking out here. Don't make me beg. It wont be pretty. 


	4. Doc Magoo's Part 2

Disclaimer: They are all hidden. Like 'Where's Waldo.' Except without Waldo, or that weird striped shirt, and with all the ER peoples.  
  
********** Happier Times Lie Ahead- Ch.4- Doc Magoo's Part2 **********  
  
"Carter, you could always talk to me."  
  
"No. No I couldn't. And you know it. We were just so closed off from one another. And I couldn't figure out why." I look up at him, but his eyes are already on mine. "Can you tell me why, Abby?"  
  
Yes. I know why. But do I really want to tell him? Do I really want him to know that I was pushing him away for his own good? Because I love him and don't want to see him hurt? We've already had this conversation before. Actually, we've had it a few times. He says he doesn't want to be protected, but I do it anyway. I can't help it. It's just the way I am.  
  
"I didn't want you to get sucked down with me. I felt like I was falling again, that things were just spinning out of control, and I didn't want you to try and save me or help me. Because if you did, it would have just made me depend on you more than I already was. And, Carter, you know I don't like to depend on anyone."  
  
"But, Abby, that's what you do in a relationship. You help each other. You are dependent on me, just like I'm dependent on you."  
  
And he's right. I know he's right. I look up at him again. He reaches across the table and takes hold of my hand. I let him. We sit in a companionable silence for a moment.  
  
I don't know where we should go from here. It's such a complicated situation and I don't know if we can make it work. I want to, with everything I have. But I don't know if we're ready to try again. He hurt me last time. He left; no good-byes, no explanation. He just wanted a break. And now that everything is coming out into the open, I can finally see how absurd it really is. He left because I wouldn't talk. I can fix that.  
  
So why can't we be together? I don't think it's that we can't. I just think we work to hard at something that should come so naturally for us. As Susan put it, 'you're Carter and Abby. You guys are the only ray of hope I have for any kind of decent relationship. If you two can't be together, I don't see how any of us can.' And she's right. We are Carter and Abby. The Barbie and Ken of the medical world. Bonnie and Clyde, according to that cop.  
  
"You look happy." He says, breaking me from my thoughts. And I am happy. I could be happier, though. I want to tell him what's going through my mind right now, all of my doubts and insecurities. And why not tell him? Now that we're getting everything off our chests, this moment should be the perfect time to do just that.  
  
I pull my hand out of his and look him straight in the eyes. There's no turning back now. So I say it. "Carter, I want to try again. At 'us.'"  
  
He looks stunned. Absolutely stunned. Maybe I was reading this all wrong. Maybe he just wanted closure. To make sure I was okay with what happened and to put it behind us. Shit. What did I do? Now it's going to get all awkward again. I screwed up this time.  
  
But I was just doing what he said. He said I can't keep everything in. And I didn't. I told him how I feel. If this is how he's going to react, I'm never telling him anything again.  
  
He still hasn't said anything. My eyes are on my hands. I can't look at him. Why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut? This is why I always keep everything in. This is why I put up all those barriers that no one, but him, seems to be able to break through. So I won't make a fool of myself. So I won't be mocked.  
  
I glance back at him to find his expression has changed completely. He looks happy, with that cheeky little half-smile on his face. It's the first real smile I've seen all evening. He takes my hand again and lets out a barely audible "Me too."  
  
My eyes light up. "Really?"  
  
He nods and his smile grows wider. "Abby, you don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that. I thought you wouldn't want go give it another go. I thought you hated me."  
  
"Carter, I could never hate you. I just thought it would be easier to get over you if we didn't talk. I'm sorry."  
  
His expression changes again. "No, Abby. Don't say you're sorry. It's not your fault. What were you supposed to think? I just left. I'm the one who should be sorry. And I am. I'm sorry."  
  
"We really need to stop shifting all the blame around."  
  
He nods. "We need to talk everything out, too. I mean, I know we got a lot out tonight, but there's still so much that needs to be said."  
  
He's right again. I know this won't be easy. Hardly anything between us is easy. But, I think as soon as we figure everything out, and make sure we're both on the same page with this, we'll be okay. That everything will be okay.  
  
**********  
  
Please review and thanks for reading. . . 


	5. The Talk by the River

Disclaimer: Anything I use in this story, that you recognize, (i.e.: characters, quotes, songs, etc.) are not mine and I do not intend on claiming them as mine.  
  
********** Happier Times Lie Ahead- Ch.5- A Talk by the River **********  
  
"Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"  
  
She gives me a questioning look. "And where do you think we should go?"  
  
"I dunno." I glance out the window and then look back to her. "Where do you want to go?"  
  
She looks around the small restaurant, I'm guessing for some sort of inspiration. "Let's go for a stroll. See where it takes us."  
  
I let out a little laugh. "A stroll, huh?"  
  
She nods and smiles back at me. God, I love that smile. Her entire face lights up like a little kid. And there's just something about it that makes me want to smile with her every time.  
  
We head out of the diner and make our way along the sidewalk. It's unusually warm for this time of the year, but it's good walking weather. I reach down and take her hand in mine. We walk for a short time in a companionable silence, just being content with each other's company.  
  
After a while longer, we end up at the bench by the river. I like to think of it as 'our' bench. We've had so many discussions here that were a vital part of our relationship and I'm guessing we're about to have another one. I'm not complaining, though. I should have known this is the place we'd eventually end up.  
  
We sit down and just look out at the water. It's a beautiful green-blue, with a few white caps here and there because of the light breeze.  
  
"So, are we really going to try this again?" she asks, bringing me out of my thoughts.  
  
I look at her and nod. She's still looking at the water, though. A few loose strands of her hair blow about and I reach up to put them behind her ears. "I will if you will."  
  
She jerks away and turns toward me me, anger evident in her eyes. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You'll try if I try. Come on, Carter." She gets up and walks over to the railing. She lets out a sigh and turns to look at me once again. "You know I tried to make our relationship work as best I could. I tried to do everything the right way for once in my life. I explained why I wouldn't talk to you. Can't we just let it go?"  
  
"Abby, I didn't mean it like that." She doesn't look like she believes me. "I just meant that I really want to try again. I want this to work. And I'm willing to give it another go, but only if you are."  
  
"Well, I am." Her tone is softer and she says it just above a whisper.  
  
"Then I am too." She comes back to the bench and sits down next to me. I reach for her hand again and she lets me take it. We sit in another silence. Everything that's happened over the past few hours is racing through my mind at full speed. She leans in closer to me, breaking all the boundaries that have been set over the past year, and rests her head on my shoulder. A few minutes pass and I look down at our hands, fit perfectly together, resting on my lap.  
  
"I think one of the things that held us back was that we'd always look at the negative side of everything that was said." She looks up at me and our eyes lock. I nod and she lets go of my hand again. "It's like we were looking for a way to piss each other off. Just waiting for that one word that would be so easy to twist. Something that we could just misinterpret and hurt each other with in the end. Kind of like what I did just now."  
  
"Abby, you have to understand that you're not the only one at fault here. I did a lot to screw up our relationship too. So don't go on thinking that you are the reason we didn't work last time, because you're not. I was there too, you know? And I agree that we had some major problems, but we're talking them out, right? We're setting everything straight so there will be no hard feelings, no resentment, and we can just start out on a clean slate. I mean, that's what you want, right?"  
  
"Yeah, Carter, that's what I want, but-"  
  
"But what?"  
  
She sits there for what seems like hours, but I know is only minutes. There's something on her mind, but her expression isn't giving me any clue as to what it may be. I know from experience that she's doubting herself, and doubting me too. I just wish she'd stop thinking about everything she says before she says it. Sometimes it's important to just let things flow, but she doesn't do that. And right now, I really need her to let it all out.  
  
"But what, Abby?"  
  
She looks down at the ground, takes a deep breath and looks back up at me. "But how do you know we won't do the same things we did last time? How do you know that we'll always be open with each other? That we won't hide? How can you guarantee that we'll always be okay?"  
  
"Abby, I never said that it will always be okay. We'll have some tough times, but everyone has rough patches in a relationship. It's not healthy to always agree with the person you're with. There has to be some sort of confrontation, otherwise no one will ever get anything out. No real feelings will ever be shown. But see, what we're doing now, this is good. We're telling each other how we feel so we don't make the same mistakes. So we can see where we went wrong last time and try our best not to go down that road again."  
  
"But, John, how do you know that I won't do something stupid? How do you know that I won't start drinking again or something? How can you be so sure?"  
  
She looks down at her hands. I know this is a tough issue to deal with, but we have to talk about it. Everything needs to be out of our systems before we can take the next step. "Abby, I'm sure that we can do this because I trust you. I believe that you'll be open and honest with me. I believe that if something does happen, and that's a really big 'if,' but if it does, you will come tell me about it. We'll work through it. Same goes for me. I'm not trying to be hypocritical, saying that you're the only one with a problem, because you're not. I have problems too." She smiles a bit. Maybe she's finally happy to see me admit that I, too, have issues. "But what makes me believe that we can actually do it right this time is the love I have for you." I pause for a moment. I'm not sure if we're really ready for this, but it's how I feel. So, I figure I better tell her now that everything is coming out. "I love you Abby."  
  
She looks back up at me. "You love me?"  
  
"Yeah, Abby, believe it or not, I do love you. And right now, I'm kind of hoping that you feel the same way."  
  
**********  
  
A/N: Okay, that was chapter 5. I'm doing my best to be quick about getting these things out, but you all know how that goes. . . Anyway, please review. They mean a lot to me. Thanks for reading and chapter 6 should be up soon. 


End file.
